Jubilant in the July sunshine
by spiritspell
Summary: Sirius finds Remus drifting in the boat on the lake.


Remus thinks that if he were to die right now he wouldn't be too bothered about it. Actually that would probably be a good thing, no more exams or full moons or friends hexing your trousers off unless you let them copy your homework or being so inept at potions that you burn your eyebrows off. Yes, Remus thinks, that wouldn't be so bad.

Just then, the boat lurches perilously and Remus shrieks, grabbing onto the sides for dear life, _well this is it I'm going to drown oh god I'm so young_ but then he realises that the boat has stopped moving and a soaking wet Sirius Black is sitting in it and Remus realises the lurching was just Sirius trying to get on board.

And he just shrieked like a girl in front of Sirius Black. Bollocks.

'Was that you screaming like you'd just been kicked in the nads Moony?'

Remus sat up, confident that the boat wasn't capsizing after all but wary that Sirius would probably try and throw him into the water.

'I was not screaming I was just protesting being thrown in-'

Before he could finish his sentence Sirius is shaking his wet hair all over him, unashamedly dog-like, spraying him with water. Lovely

'Sirius you are the biggest wanker I have ever known in my entire life.'

'Glad to be of service.' Sirius grins and leans back, arms behind his head, face tilted to the sun.

Remus isn't quite sure how long they spend in the boat, just drifting. It's the start of the summer holidays and James' parents are away on some 'super boring' trip abroad so the Potter residence is their fortress for all sorts of maraudering for a whole three weeks. Absolutely glorious.

The boat was the greatest discovery of their lives so far. They'd found it abandoned in a hedge near the lake and miraculously it doesn't sink and had yet to capsize (except when James and Sirius overturned Peter in the middle of his afternoon nap).

This summer, thinks Remus, is really the last summer they will ever have together, like this. Come September they'll all be too busy with NEWT preparation for any maraudering (well, Remus will be anyway) and next summer everyone will be off doing their own thing and nothing will ever be the same again because they'll all have jobs (Remus isn't holding on to much hope that he will ever be able to find decent employment) and responsibilities. James and Lily are moving in together for Christ's sake. And the war. God knows Remus has tried his hardest not to think about it, but it's everywhere. Everyone is whispering about it, and every late night conversation at the Potter residence has been about it and Remus feels sick because what if their friendship doesn't survive?

And then there's Sirius. All these years he has missed thousands of opportunities to tell this stupid boy that he really fucking loves him. But it's been ok because they've had so much time, so many more opportunities but now their days are slowly running out and Remus feels sick because what if this time next year they go their separate ways? If he's left regretting that he never did anything to show Sirius how he feels about him?

Sirius chooses this moment to kick him in the shin. Hard.

'What was that for?!' Remus shouts, sitting up and rubbing his shin.

'You're thinking.'

'Yes Sirius, I'm a human being, we tend to do that.'

'You're thinking about stupid shit and you're getting all worked up and you've got that little line in between your eyebrows that you get when you're thinking too hard and it's summer and summer is not a time for thinking so stop it.' Sirius says all this very fast and nonchalantly but Remus notices that he won't look him in the eye.

'I just.. can't stop thinking that next year everything is going to change and you'll leave and have an amazing exciting life and I'll never get the chance to tell you-'

Remus stops, realising too late what he was going to say.

Sirius looks at him, eyebrow raised. 'Tell me what Moony?' he says quietly.

Remus thinks that he might throw up because oh god it's actually happening and he's been in love with Sirius since second year even though he leaves food all over the place and never brushes his hair and smells quite bad sometimes and says the stupidest things he loves him because he is Sirius Black and he is Remus Lupin and he is just meant to love him somehow.

Of course, instead of saying all this aloud he just turns red with the effort of not having a heart attack.

Sirius is smirking and it's very infuriating because he's having a crisis here and _god Sirius looks so good when he's smug and why is he moving closer oh god I'm going to die an-_

The kiss makes Remus feel like at last his done something right in his life. Makes him feel that it will all be okay.

When they break apart Sirius whispers 'things are going to change next year Moony, but not me. Not this.'

They kiss again, Remus burying his hands in Sirius' hair, can hardly breathe, feels like he might burst with joy.

When Sirius tips them both into the water he doesn't even complain. Just laughs and kisses him again, jubilant in the July sunshine.


End file.
